Things to note while keeping track of how many outs there are instead of relying on the opposing team's pitcher:

-This game featured some high-quality scumbaggery. Matero and everyone's favorite little person, Thomas, nearly came to blows after a collision at first (hmm, maybe some scumbag shouldn't have thrown out the old, large (albeit smelly) bases. Curses were exchanged. A shove happened. One of the participants may have shouted, "I don't take shit from people bigger than me!" Belligerent Mark nearly made an appearance but instead dispensed fatherly advice consisting of "Stfu". Thomas left and the world was sad.

-That said, Willy Wonka's factory is once again fully staffed.

-Harold Reynolds has his best friend back.

-The Queens domestic violence rate is about to go up a tick.

-The sales of SeXplosion wooden bats are about to plummet.

-I guess he didn't feel too good out there.

-The sales of 12V batteries are about to rise.

-Ok, I'm done.

-For only the 2nd time in league (and his personal) history, a player hit 3 homeruns in one game. Brian F[uckstick] Mangan homered in the 3rd, 6th and 7th innings, all off the same pitcher. 

-Scumbag Mike joins the exclusive and handsome club of pitchers who have allowed 3 homeruns to Brian in the same game. It now consists of Mike and Wilson. 

-Brian dubbed this game, "Staturday". Everyone groaned. Even Thomas, who wasn't even there.

-At some point, Matero the Non-Sequiterrorist shouted "Ya gotta GHOST RIDE THAT WHIP...(complete silence)...I don't know what that means." Laughter ensued.

-Mike hilariously gave up 25 hits in his 7 innings of "work". Mark and Wilson tried to keep pace by combining to allow 15 hits in 4 1/3 innings of "work".

-In stark contrast, Brian and Vic were dominant; they combined for 4 2/3 ip, 7 strikeouts and no runs allowed.

-Alvin called Brian, Mr. June. He was merely alluding to the fact that Brian resembles the wife of Johnny Cash, June Carter-Cash, in that they both look like they've been dead for 9 years. Ms. Cash, because she's been dead for 9 years and Brian, because he pasty.

-Roger may have retired after the game. That legitimately makes us sad. We have to remind ourselves that some birds just aren't meant to be caged. Their cocksticks are just too bright. And when they fly away, the part of you that knows it was a sin to lock them up rejoices. But still, the field you play on is that much more drab and empty that they're gone. I guess I just miss my friend, Scumbag Roger.

-Three scumbag guys on the adjacent field teased us by throwing a baseball around and giving us up hope that they would join our game and complete the rosters. When asked to play, they scumbaggily replied "oh uhh herm uhh, we're waiting for our friends". An hour and a half later, two other people showed up to play with them. That was it. Dicks.

-Don't Take Shit From People Bigger Than Us turned two double plays. The first was on a nifty flip by borrowed fielder Mike R and nice turn by Jaysian to double up Reese at first. The second one occurred in the 8th when Reese asked how many outs there as Mike R had lofted a ball to center. Scumbag Wilson shouted "There's 2 outs!" He lied. Brian made the catch in center for the 2nd out and, reminiscent of the triple play from 2 weeks ago, Matero--having listened to Scumbag Wilson--was approximately 90 feet away from where he should have been. Scumbag Wilson fielded the throw and stepped on 1st to double up Matero. I do it for the lulz, guys. Always for the lulz.

-Scumbags.

Batting AB R H RBI BB K AVG Roger Cormier EH 8 1 2 1 0 3 .289 Top 1: Lineout (L-1) vs. Mark Rubin Top 1: Flyout (F-8) vs. Mark Rubin Top 2: Double vs. Mark Rubin (1 RBI) Top 3: Strikeout vs. Brian Mangan Top 5: Flyout (F-7) vs. Brian Mangan Top 7: Strikeout vs. Wilson De La Cruz Top 8: Single vs. Wilson De La Cruz Top 9: Strikeout vs. Vic (Reese's Cuz) Career Stats · Batting Game Log Carlos Moreno EH 6 2 2 1 1 0 .273 Top 1: Reach on Error (E4) vs. Mark Rubin Top 1: Reach on Fielder's Choice vs. Mark Rubin Top 2: Groundout (6-3) vs. Mark Rubin Top 3: Single vs. Brian Mangan (1 RBI) Top 5: Single vs. Brian Mangan Top 7: Popout (P-1) vs. Wilson De La Cruz Top 8: Walk vs. Wilson De La Cruz Career Stats · Batting Game Log Mike Fusilli 4 4 3 2 3 0 .464 Top 1: Walk vs. Mark Rubin Top 2: Single vs. Mark Rubin Top 3: Walk vs. Mark Rubin Top 3: Popout (P-4) vs. Brian Mangan Top 5: Walk vs. Brian Mangan Top 7: Single vs. Wilson De La Cruz Top 8: Single vs. Wilson De La Cruz (2 RBI) Career Stats · Batting Game Log Reese Pereyra EH 7 3 5 2 0 0 .680 Top 1: Single vs. Mark Rubin (1 RBI) Top 2: Single vs. Mark Rubin Top 3: Single vs. Mark Rubin Top 4: Groundout (6-3) vs. Brian Mangan Top 5: Groundout (6-3) vs. Brian Mangan Top 7: Single vs. Wilson De La Cruz Top 8: Single vs. Wilson De La Cruz (1 RBI) Career Stats · Batting Game Log Joe Materrorist EH 6 2 2 2 1 2 .463 Top 1: Reach on Error (E5) vs. Mark Rubin (1 RBI) Top 2: Reach on Fielder's Choice vs. Mark Rubin Top 3: Strikeout vs. Mark Rubin Top 4: Walk vs. Brian Mangan Top 6: Strikeout vs. Brian Mangan Top 7: Single vs. Wilson De La Cruz Top 8: Single vs. Wilson De La Cruz (1 RBI) Career Stats · Batting Game Log Mike R. EH 7 1 1 1 0 3 .238 Top 1: Reach on Error (E4) vs. Mark Rubin Top 2: Groundout (6-3) vs. Mark Rubin (1 RBI) Top 3: Single vs. Mark Rubin Top 4: Strikeout vs. Brian Mangan Top 6: Strikeout vs. Brian Mangan Top 7: Strikeout vs. Wilson De La Cruz Top 8: Flyout (F-8) vs. Wilson De La Cruz Career Stats · Batting Game Log Alvin Law EH 5 2 2 2 2 1 .379 Top 1: Walk vs. Mark Rubin (1 RBI) Top 2: Single vs. Mark Rubin (1 RBI) Top 3: Walk vs. Mark Rubin Top 4: Flyout (F-7) vs. Brian Mangan Top 6: Reach on Error (E3) vs. Brian Mangan Top 8: Single vs. Wilson De La Cruz Top 9: Strikeout vs. Vic (Reese's Cuz) Career Stats · Batting Game Log Ilya Zherebetskiy EH 5 1 0 2 2 1 .000 Top 1: Reach on Error (E4) vs. Mark Rubin (1 RBI) Top 2: Groundout (1-3) vs. Mark Rubin Top 3: Walk vs. Mark Rubin (1 RBI) Top 5: Walk vs. Brian Mangan Top 6: Strikeout vs. Brian Mangan Top 8: Reach on Fielder's Choice vs. Wilson De La Cruz Top 9: Popout (P-5) vs. Vic (Reese's Cuz) Career Stats · Batting Game Log Team Totals 48 16 17 13 9 10 .354 2B: Roger Cormier. Team LOB: 16

Batting AB R H RBI BB K AVG Chris Coleman EH 8 3 3 2 1 1 .261 Bot 1: Strikeout vs. Mike Fusilli Bot 1: Walk vs. Mike Fusilli (1 RBI) Bot 2: Popout (P-3) vs. Mike Fusilli Bot 3: Flyout (F-7) vs. Mike Fusilli Bot 4: Reach on Error (E5) vs. Mike Fusilli Bot 5: Single vs. Mike Fusilli (1 RBI) Bot 7: Single vs. Mike Fusilli Bot 7: Flyout (F-7) vs. Mike Fusilli Bot 8: Single vs. Reese Pereyra Career Stats · Batting Game Log Wilson De La Cruz EH 7 6 3 1 1 1 .412 Bot 1: Reach on Error (E3) vs. Mike Fusilli Bot 1: Single vs. Mike Fusilli (1 RBI) Bot 2: Strikeout vs. Mike Fusilli Bot 3: Flyout (F-8) vs. Mike Fusilli Bot 5: Triple vs. Mike Fusilli Bot 5: Hit by Pitch vs. Mike Fusilli Bot 7: Reach on Error (E8) vs. Mike Fusilli Bot 7: Single vs. Mike Fusilli Bot 8: Walk vs. Reese Pereyra Career Stats · Batting Game Log HJ Kwon EH 8 3 6 7 0 0 .372 Bot 1: Single vs. Mike Fusilli Bot 1: Single vs. Mike Fusilli (2 RBI) Bot 2: Single vs. Mike Fusilli Bot 4: Single (8-1) vs. Mike Fusilli Bot 5: Lineout (L-7) vs. Mike Fusilli Bot 5: Flyout (F-7) vs. Mike Fusilli Bot 7: Home Run vs. Mike Fusilli (3 RBI) Bot 7: Single vs. Mike Fusilli (1 RBI) Bot 8: Hit by Pitch vs. Reese Pereyra (1 RBI) Career Stats · Batting Game Log Vic (Reese's Cuz) EH 7 5 4 2 0 1 .571 Bot 1: Reach on Error (E4) vs. Mike Fusilli Bot 1: Hit by Pitch vs. Mike Fusilli Bot 2: Double vs. Mike Fusilli Bot 4: Single vs. Mike Fusilli Bot 5: Single vs. Mike Fusilli (1 RBI) Bot 6: Strikeout vs. Mike Fusilli Bot 7: Single vs. Mike Fusilli Bot 7: Flyout (F-9) vs. Mike Fusilli Bot 8: Sac Fly (F-7) vs. Reese Pereyra (1 RBI) Career Stats · Batting Game Log Mark Rubin 8 2 4 2 1 0 .351 Bot 1: Double vs. Mike Fusilli (1 RBI) Bot 1: Walk vs. Mike Fusilli Bot 2: Flyout (F-7) vs. Mike Fusilli Bot 4: Popout (P-5) vs. Mike Fusilli Bot 5: Single vs. Mike Fusilli Bot 6: Flyout (F-8) vs. Mike Fusilli Bot 7: Single vs. Mike Fusilli Bot 7: Double vs. Mike Fusilli (1 RBI) Bot 8: Popout (P-6) vs. Reese Pereyra Career Stats · Batting Game Log Brian Mangan EH 7 5 6 8 2 0 .389 Bot 1: Walk vs. Mike Fusilli Bot 1: Single vs. Mike Fusilli (2 RBI) Bot 3: Home Run vs. Mike Fusilli (1 RBI) Bot 4: Single vs. Mike Fusilli Bot 5: Walk vs. Mike Fusilli Bot 6: Home Run vs. Mike Fusilli (1 RBI) Bot 7: Home Run vs. Mike Fusilli (3 RBI) Bot 7: Popout (P-3) vs. Mike Fusilli Bot 8: Single vs. Reese Pereyra (1 RBI) Career Stats · Batting Game Log Thomas Meade EH 8 2 2 1 1 1 .192 Bot 1: Popout (P-5) vs. Mike Fusilli Bot 1: Groundout (5-3) vs. Mike Fusilli Bot 3: Groundout (5-3) vs. Mike Fusilli Bot 4: Walk vs. Mike Fusilli Bot 5: Reach on Fielder's Choice vs. Mike Fusilli (1 RBI) Bot 6: Strikeout vs. Mike Fusilli Bot 7: Single vs. Mike Fusilli Bot 8: Double vs. Reese Pereyra Bot 8: Groundout (1-3) vs. Reese Pereyra Career Stats · Batting Game Log Team Totals 53 26 28 23 6 4 .528 2B: Vic (Reese's Cuz), Mark Rubin (2), Thomas Meade. 3B: Wilson De La Cruz. HR: HJ Kwon, Brian Mangan (3). SF: Vic (Reese's Cuz). HBP: Wilson De La Cruz, HJ Kwon, Vic (Reese's Cuz). Team LOB: 11

Pitching IP H R ER BB K ERA Mike Fusilli (L, 0-1) 7.0 25 23 11 5 4 10.34 Reese Pereyra 1.0 3 3 3 1 0 27.00 Team Totals 8.0 28 26 14 6 4 15.75 2B: Mike Fusilli (3), Reese Pereyra. 3B: Mike Fusilli. HR: Mike Fusilli (4). HBP: Mike Fusilli (2), Reese Pereyra.

Pitching IP H R ER BB K ERA Mark Rubin 2.1 7 12 3 5 1 10.38 Brian Mangan (W, 2-1) 3.2 2 0 0 3 5 6.08 Wilson De La Cruz 2.0 8 4 4 1 2 14.54 Vic (Reese's Cuz) 1.0 0 0 0 0 2 0.00 Team Totals 9.0 17 16 7 9 10 7.00 2B: Mark Rubin.