Things to Note While Bitching Like Little Bitch Babies For Stats:

-This game NEVER happened.

-But if it DID happen, here's what I would have written...

-Los Gatos, led by Sergio "El Gato" Herrera, outplayed, outclassed, outwitted, outlasted and outeverythinged Los Totos (led by Wilson the Stats Terrorist) by a ridiculous score of 29-6. 

-Ricky "Sin Guantes" Aponte went 0-for-2 while utilizing batting gloves and a ridiculous 5-for-6, 5 runs, 4 rbi and 8 total bases without batting gloves.

-Jay Cruzer gunned out John B from the cricket field in deep left. Says the scorecard: "OMG!!!"

-Carla pulled herself from the game in the 6th inning due to an, at the time, undisclosed injury. The injury was later revealed to be death.

-Her funeral took place on April 16th. The service, I'm told, was lovely. Unfortunately, most of us were not in attendance due to that day's game. The after-party featured Alejandro and his Suzy Q's doing what he does best. Not going to baseball and doing baseball terrorist things.

-JOE MATERO had a Jeterian day at the plate, going 1-for-6 with 4 groundouts including one double play.

-Los Gatos team line: 26-for-58, 29 runs, 5 doubles, 4 triples, 9 walks, 2 hbp and only 6 strikeouts.

-Los Gatos two thru six hitters: 20-for-37, 22 runs, 20 rbi, 8 XBH, 5 bb.

-Christ.

-Los Totos had more errors (9) than hits (8).

-Christ.

-Los Gatos only managed to allow FIVE (5!) balls to reach the outfield (non-infield hits, fly balls, etc). Sergiously, that happened. 

-"Sergiously" is a registered trademark of the Wilson Stats Bureau.

-According the "fuselli" Stats Bureau, this game had a record number of triples for one team, four in all.

-Props to Chuckles, M.D. for doing Los Gatos' stat totals after the game.

-Negative props to Chuckles, M.D. for doing Los Gatos' stat totals after the game and keeping the scorecard out of your wonderful recapper's hands.

-Yeah, let's go with that excuse.

-Further negative props to whoever scored the suspicious "hit" to centerfield, on which 2 errors occurred, a triple in lieu of a single.

-This game began the month-long reign of Generalissimo El Gato the Terrible as his Gatos have won on April 2nd and April 16th. 

-Mark faced the minimum batters in the top of the 8th: John B walk, Gato single (thrown out at 2nd), Christos fly out to left (John B gunned out on tag attempt by Cruzer).

-Individual win-loss records will be posted in the Game 4 recap later this week.

-But sergiously, this game never happened.

-As always, feel free to add comments/corrections via the e-mail string or the facebook note. I'll edit them in accordingly.