Things to Note While Wondering How We Survived the Winter Without Baseball:

-Our long regional nightmare is over: Baseball is back, bitches!

-With all the fanatical anti-climactic...ness of a preseason Yankees-Red Sox game, Wilson and Roger captained against each other in the inaugural game of the 2011 season. 

-Roger had too many Urkels on his team, that's why his wins low.

-Team names are courtesy Kanye West's Dark Fantasy/Blame Game and Bryan Sepulveda who suggested I use these team names way back in November.

-Yeezy Taught Us' pitching staff held Too Many Urkels to four (4!) hits--though they did issue fourteen (14!) walks.

-Due largely to its eleven (11) errors, Too Many Urkels did not allow a single earned run. That said, they did allow ten (10) hits and nine (9) walks. That's what happens when you have too many Urkels on your team.

-Too Many Urkels stranded too many Urkels, 14 in all--including the bases loaded twice.

-Not to be outdone, Yeezy Taught Us...how to strand a moderately-sized hamlet on the bases, 17 runners in all--including the bases loaded twice. 

-Several players made their league debut: Pedro, Roberto and Gene for Yeezy Taught Us, and Pat, Chris C, Johnnie, and Oscar for Too Many Urkels.

-Among the regulars, John B made his pitching debut allowing 3 runs (none earned) on one hit in one inning of work. After nearly making a play on a foul ball, he was immediately dubbed Likeacat-neta. Sergio "El Gato" was not pleased.

-For approximately seven minutes, it was LIMA TIME! when Roberto, a live ringer (too soon?) for Jose Lima pitched one inning of strong relief, allowing only one baserunner while striking out the side. He did not salsa off the mound in celebration.

-Alejandro, however, Suzy Q'd on his way to first base after being walked in the 4th inning.

-Alejandro was also the only pitcher on Too Many Urkels who did not allow a hit.

-Oh and Alejandro actually showed up.

-Christos ordered a modified-Mike Fusilli special, going 1-for-5 at the plate including one humorous mid-inning, on-field scolding of Alejandro for almost getting picked off second base. After running to Alejandro like a madman and understandably being told to calm down, Christos shouted, "YOU CALM DOWN, I AM CALM, YOU CALM DOWN!!" 

-Mike F narrowly missed a Mike Fusilli special, going 1-for-4 with a triple, multiple rbi and a strikeout.

-Alvin was involved in multiple shifty pickoff attempts at first and second base. He appeared to have been picked off multiple times, but quickly countered by saying "I'm Mr. October." This was acknowledged and he was allowed to remain on the bases. 

-Pedro aka Cyborg aka The Dominican Chris Sabo, pitched an inning of relief, also striking out the side in efficient cyborg-like fashion.

-According to the Department of Cunningham Yelling & Bitching Of Retarded Gibberish, Mike F is owed 3 innings of baseball--2 innings from last year when Cyborg Mike D pitched and 1 inning from this week's encounter with Cyborg Sabo.

-To lead off the 6th inning, Cyborg Johnnie struck out Cyborg Sabo and made him look foolish doing so. Cy-Sabo swung, missed, spun and landed on his Cy-ass.

-The last game of our 2010 season occurred five days after the end of the World Series. The first game of our 2011 season occurred almost 2 weeks before MLB's 2011 Opening Day. Suck it, MLB.

-While in full view of everyone, Wilson and Nilson played on the same team, wore distinct clothing and arrived at completely different times. Christos and Brian, however, continue to insist that they are one and the same. This recapper does not blame them.

-Jason Blair leads the league in RBI (3), Alvin: runs (3), Mike R: OBP (.750), Mike F: (.750). And, for the 7th consecutive year, Wilson: Swag (infinite). 

-In the battle for who will be called "Mr. March", Alvin was the first to reach base and score a run, while Wilson was the first to record a hit and save. That said, they are already Mr. October and Mr. November, respectively. Accordingly, an online poll will be conducted to elect "Mr. March". The candidates are A) Alvin; B) Wilson and; C) Alvin and Wilson.

-Polling is now closed.

-The debate over whether stats from this game would count was concluded when Too Many Urkels chanted STATS, STATS, STATS-STATS-STATS-STATS-STATS, STATS-STATS-STATS-STATS-STATS EVERYBODY!! after the game had ended.

-OMG BASEBALL!!!!

-Pat made his debut, and might even return despite the three hour commute!

-Mangan was unaware that Jose Lima had died a year ago. He went through all of the stages of grief surprisingly quickly. When asking how he died Mike responded, "He died of Lima Time."

-Roger uses the condoms that Diego gives him, and those happen to be of the Magic Hat variety.

-Christos looked like the unibomber more than usual.